i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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