last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
