Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Boobs are out for the taking
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
this hospital has no fireball
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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