Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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