Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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