so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
