did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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