She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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