I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
