do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
