Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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