i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize