A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
