Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
