I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You ruined the universe
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
