I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize