so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize