Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
