Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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