are you still at the devil's house?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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