Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
