this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You can't just leave with hair like that
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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