look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
