remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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