i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
