i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
