her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
