I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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