you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
