That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
