Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
