well I can't set my house on fire every night
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
