So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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