So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
