omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
