Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
And then he peed in my hair
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
