I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
