Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
