i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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