I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
