Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
