gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
