Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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