Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
