she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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