Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
