Kiss
Puke
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
MIDGETS
????
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
