If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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