whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
