y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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