sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
