Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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