??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The adults are the big ones right?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
