i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
