My cat gives me a boner
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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