It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
