Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
