Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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