My friends, they love my intelligence
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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