honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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