Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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