At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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