do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
