i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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